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i feel absolutely shite
i went to the job centre today and now want to put my head in the oven, if only it wasn't electric
i feel bad for thinking i'm better than the other people who were there signing on, but then again if i'm not actually better than say, the guy next to me who'd been getting jobseekers allowance for almost three years now and couldn't understand why he still didn't have a job, then i might as well just give up now
it was horrible and depressing and degrading and in the end it was actually completely fucking pointless too
you see after being passed around the office signing and dating anything that came near me, i had an interview with this 'jackie' woman who talked to me as if i was retarded had special educational needs, and then gave me a really patronising 'well done' after she asked what level degree i had received
then she went on the same website i'd been on/could easily go on myself, and printed out two receptionist jobs i didn't fucking want [one of which doesn't even exist, as i found out later while trying to look it up/apply online] reading out the job description one... word... at... a... fucking... time... and finishing by smiling moronically and asking if that seemed like something i could 'manage'
but anyway, the real killer came right at the end, after all the questions and the signing things and the feelings of pure futility, she just happened to mention that i wouldn't actually receive any money until three weeks time because that's 'how long it usually takes to process a claim...'
if i don't have a job in three weeks i am seriously going to kill myself, so what the fuck was the point in me even getting out of bed this morning and going down to that god-awful place?!
now, just to invalidate my morning further, as soon as i came out and checked my phone i had a message from boots saying that they wanted me to come for an interview a week on tuesday...
meaning there's a bloody good chance [what with me not actually being retarded having special educational needs] that i won't even need their fucking jobseekers money that they're not going to give me anyway!
however, the whole point of me putting myself through this ridiculous process was because y'know,
i have no money to:
buy a pair of converse without holes in
buy smart work clothes/shoes for interviews etc.
pay for taxis/buses/trains to get to jobs in my 'agreed' 10 mile radius
pay bills and council tax and rent
buy food/eat
so i ask, how exactly does today's pointless little venture help me do any of that?
answers on a postcard
