x
i've had such a nice weekend/monday
after a not-so-nice thursday/friday
i mean, the kitchen is still a complete mess, but i guess you can't have everything
there are also beer/coke cans all over the flat
like, hundreds of them
we got so drunk last night
dan wanted to go to orange st. for the open mic night and i'd forgotten all about it and was just going to go to ye olde beverlie with ye olde james...
but as soon as dan came back from work and said he still wanted to go, james' f.m.s. [fear of missing something] syndrome kicked in and we decided to go with him
dan's friends and i have never really got along, well, out of the people there last night i only really knew tess and claire and vaguely that canadian guy... and i guess, even more vaguely, sorrel too...
so it was mainly just dan, james and i
and a considerable number of drinks
[considering i have no money and spent a grand total of £5 all night, which was actually on the taxi home]
as it turned out it was a really nice night
obviously i was worried about the whole boyfriend/ex-boyfriend saying more than 'hello' to each another situation... but i think it went well
i did get a little silly as i got drunker though, being all gossipy and catty with dan, and i worried that james was a little out of the conversation/didn't know who we were bitching about
but i soon managed to get the conversation back to the comforting common ground of film and tv
we even had an old vs new star wars trilogy argument in the taxi
it was fun
plus, dan told james he thought he was 37 instead of 32 and james tried to convince him he was only 26 and i said he could only really get away with 28 and wondered when he'd lost those extra years...
we bonded
haha
or something like that
then james got drunk and was a] incredibly cute and b] incredibly funny
a perfect example of both a and b being when dan left the room and james pulled me into him and told me to kiss him, then when i snogged his face off did, he made a shocked face and said that he wanted a 'nice kiss' and that i'd given him a 'naughty' one!
then he looked up eton rd. videos on youtube and told me again how beautiful that boy is
don't know if dan knew what to make of that
y'know, i think i talk about james too much
i've gone soppy in my old age
nah, i think it's just that nothing else really happens in my life
other than shitty things like bad interviews, not getting jobs, signing on, not wanting to tell my mother i'm useless, being in the flat alone, crying uncontrollably for no reason because my life's not quite panning out how i imagined it would...
so i'd much rather write about how i went to dover with james and he made me walk through a tunnel and i hate tunnels and it was terrible and then we were in this amazing fort-kinda-place in the middle of nowhere and i'm glad i made it through the tunnel even though it made me feel sick
so... yeah
i also really need to write about the fact i've been invited [as a couple] over to james' friends' house to have dinner with him and his wife [as a couple] and i'm fucking terrified
james has assured me he's a lovely [scottish/40-something/vegetarian/t-total/anarchist] guy, which is nice
however, my main concerns are:
i get nervous when meeting new people
i usually get drunk to combat said nerves, which is possibly not possible in a t-total house
this guy is at least 20 years older than me
james has never met his wife
i don't do well with older women at the best of times
they have a 3 year old kid
i will run away if i have to see/speak to said 3 year old
james has already confessed he's never actually done the whole couple/meal thing before
i'm going to have nothing in common with them
if the conversation turns to politics i'm screwed
they live in the middle of chartham/nowhere
i'm going to have to return the gesture and invite them to my flat because it's is nicer than james' and i just happen to love cooking vegetarian food...
i'm so not ready for this
i'm so not a grown-up
p.s. i knew i'd used that title before...
